Intimacy in Marriage

I think fulfilling the sexual stewardship in marriage means that you give 100% of yourself to your spouse. You seek for ways to create a stronger bond and together find joy in loving one another fully. I think it also means being open and discussing sexual intimacy, so that both people are on the same page. I thought Brother Brotherson discussed many important facets of sexual intimacy, but one of the most important I think is overcoming inhibition if it is present. He talked about the importance of not avoiding dealing with one’s thoughts, feelings, desires, or behaviors related to sexual functioning in marriage. I like that Bro. Barlow pointed out that the scriptures do not use the word sex, but rather know or knew. This is really neat to me because it describes it as having a deeper meaning than the way the world views it.  Husband and wife cleave unto one another and none else and in turn become the more important person in the life of the other.

Bro. Brotherson also talked about some couples feeling unwholesome or anxious about expressing their feelings after marriage. I feel like this could be remedied by parents teaching their children that sexual intimacy is not something that is bad, but is saved for the sacred bonds of marriage. I had one roommate who’s parents never talked to her about sex and I feel that this was a great disservice to her. The church has an awesome handbook for teaching children and teens about sex. Of course you don’t tell them more than they need to know, but it gives great guidelines for what to teach at different ages. From a young age we should teach children to respect their bodies and those of others; that our bodies are good and not something to be ashamed of. Along these same lines, the prophetic teaching of President Brown stood out to me:

“Thousands of young people come to the marriage altar almost illiterate insofar as this basic and fundamental function is concerned. The sex instinct is not something which we need to fear or be ashamed of. It is God-given and has a high and holy purpose … We want our young people to know that sex is not an unmentionable human misfortune, and certainly it should not be regarded as a sordid but necessary part of marriage. There is no excuse for approaching this most intimate relationship in life without true knowledge of its meaning and its high purpose.” (Bookcraft, 1960, pp. 73, 76; emphasis added)

Bro. Brotherson gave a beautiful comparison I thought- he compared us returning to the temple often to serve and be reminded of the standards we have committed ourselves to live to a frequent return as a couple to serving, loving and reminding ourselves of the commitment we’ve made as a couple through sexual intimacy. I think if we think of sexual intimacy in this way then we will fulfill our sexual stewardship in marriage.