Love Never Faileth

In order to overcome gridlock we have to identify what is causing it and be willing to listen, respect and validate what your spouse is trying to convey. The key is all about helping your spouse realize their dreams. In marriage we should be interested to know how our spouse feels, thinks and what their aspirations are. Overcoming gridlock requires each person to feel their dream is supported by the other. I think what it comes down is having charity for one another. The example Gottman shared of the couple who couldn’t find a way to satisfy one another’s dreams eventually did when they each exhibited charity. The wife was more willing to take in to consideration her husband’s thoughts and feelings when she felt that her husband supported and cared about her love for her horse. Overcoming gridlock requires selflessness and respect; Gottman says, “Acknowledging and respecting each others deepest, most personal hopes and dreams is the key to saving and enriching your marriage.”

I think the overall message of Goddard’s book is that if spouses exhibit charity toward one another they will have a successful marriage. Everything he taught in his book has charity at its core. How can we go wrong in marriage when we are kind, patient, selfless, calm, humble and forgiving? Moroni 7:46-47 teaches : “...charity never faileth. Wherefore cleave unto charity,which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail-but charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.”  I love the word cleave in verse 46-just as we are to cleave unto our spouse we should cleave unto these good things which will in turn make our relationships lasting and fulfilling. When we exhibit charity it is much easier to see the good in our spouse and the more we look for the good the more we will find it. I like how Goddard said: “We should enjoy and appreciate our partners. We should forgive them of their humanness. The single most promising marriage-fixing effort is not in tinkering with our partners’ characters; it is in loving, cherishing and appreciating them!”